My desire is to engage, provoke, inspire and bring people together. Every time someone asks me what it is that I really want to do, I can’t give them something specific like marketing or nursing like most people can. The truth is I really don’t care what I’m doing as long as I see the purpose in it. What matters is that my work directly helps someone else.
The only thing that I truly desire in my life is to influence people, to inspire them, to really make them think and engage about life.
I’m not really sure how this desire even came about but my only belief is because someone once inspired me. I grew up below average and if I tried really hard I felt like I could at least be average. Unfortunately, nobody aims to be average so I saw no point.
Since I was 9 years old all the way till I was 19 I wasn’t sure their was a purpose or reason to do the things I was doing.
I didn’t really apply myself in anything until one day I sat down in a classroom with a teacher who would change that forever. She was a phonemail speaker, influencer, and teacher. That scared me at first though because that wasn’t me. I didn’t want to be noticed in class and she made a personal investment in making sure she knew every single student that entered into her classroom. I think normally I would of dropped the class but with the recent death of my farther I wanted things to change in my life. So I stuck it out and it may have been one of the best decisions in my life.
She was the first person who made me engaged in my life. I showed up to every class, I listened to every lecture, and I completed every project. When the first class was over, I enrolled in two more just to see what else she could teach me.
I’ve took some top notch classes with some of the most recognized teachers in the state of Michigan, and although they could force good grades to be earned and weave out the students who didn’t care, I saw that as failure.
Everyday I walked into those classes, where the teachers had a sense of accomplishment, I wanted to purpose the challenge of actually getting their classroom engaged in the content. Students don’t need a lecture, they don’t need loads of information to take in, what they really need is an influencer. Someone who gets up every morning with the soul purpose of helping their students be inspired to do something great with their life. To realize their potential and the possibility for greatness and to give them a reason to get out of bed every morning.
So when I sat their listening to my teacher who was a true influencer, telling amazing stories of her life and all the lessons she learned, I said to myself I want to do that. I want to have those stories to tell, I want to teach great lessons to the potential leaders of a new generation, I want to engage a room full of people to desire something more out life.
I still have no idea how to do that but I know I’ll find my way someday. This blog is probably my smallest way of trying doing that. Even if one person reaches out and says “I read your recent post, and it really helped me”, I feel like I’ve done my job. I’ve done my job even if one person can relate because there is something comforting about knowing someone out their is experiencing the same thing. We all have a desire to be understood.
Being an influencer is hard though, and society keeps lowering the standards for people. Everyday I wake up and see something that just makes me so disappointed in people.
Below is the top three things in life where I believe people sell themselves short.
Lowering the Standards of Knowledge - People can’t engage because their lazy.
Every time I write a post that is long and has no pictures I cringe at the thought that nobody is going to read it all because their lazy. There is no other excuse then that.
We are children when it comes to knowledge, and I wouldn’t even give the credit of that because at least children have a yearning for more knowledge.
Today, the only thing people are reading and discussing comes from Buzz Feed and is bulleted with humorous pictures. Why? because that’s the only way to get our generation to engage in anything anymore. (Why do you think I block my text up in all my blog posts? I have to give people the leisure of scanning.
Does this make anyone else sad? We wanted to be respected as a generation but we can’t even read anything with some length and without pictures. Sometimes that doesn’t even work for people and they need a full illustration like a movie to really grasp any knowledge. I challenge anybody to stop reading Buzz Feed posts on “19 signs your mom is your best friend” and “29 reasons you’re not in a relationship”. In my opinion, that one should list “because you’re to sucked into social media, society, and garbage to have a real conversation”. My advice is not to give up on the entertainment of these things all together. Humor is needed in life. Just simply substitute a few for a good book or articles that engage you on a topic of interest. That provide you with some valuable knowledge in life.
A Generation of Softness - Stop running home and face hardship.
I’m currently going through some tough decisions in my life. To everyone else, yes they probably seem insignificant, but just like anybody else, when support beam after support beam fails you find yourself falling down.
Facing constant failure, disappointment, and change is hard and everyone handles it differently. Life can be overwhelming sometimes and we can’t always be cheerful and positive. Frankly, human emotions are a thing of their own and it’s pretty hard to control them.
My point is, I feel like I make the same common mistake when faced with decisions and hardship and that’s run to friends and peers for advice. I’m not trying to group everyone in a category but lets just say that 95% of the people that give me advice…shouldn’t.
It’s a brutal thing to say about friends and peers but it’s also honest.
Every situation is unique and unless you’re a therapist (and even sometimes they don’t understand how to communicate) you shouldn’t be handing out advice but support.
I feel the need to explain the difference of advice and support. I think it’s pretty simple though, advice is telling someone how they should handle a situation and support is encouraging them to find the right decisions for them.
I’ll give you a great example from my own personal experience.
I recently over extended my stay with a friend and was asked to leave. You would think that I would be infuriated by the situation at hand but it was the reason I was provided that really lit the fuse. “I think it’s good for you” she said, and went on to explain that even she had to go home to get on her own two feet again.
Then when talking with a few close friends they continued to say “It’s not so bad, you can always go home”. My response EVERY single time I heard this was “No, no I cant”. Why? because that’s to easy.
I’m not saying that you can’t go home and still be successful. People do it all the time but their really just ‘average’ people.
As quoted by Eric Thomas “I’m allergic to average”.
It pains me to see how many people refuse to feel a little pain in their life.
It’s that pain and struggle that makes life worth living. That gives us a sense of purpose, accomplishment, and drive.
Just as a side note, that person who said she went home still hasn’t made it back on her own to feet. The hardest thing I ever went through was the soul reason I was successful from their on out. When I lost my dad, that was as hard as it gets. I could face so much more because I already felt pain. I knew how to handle it and I knew that it was temporary. I’m not the strongest person in the world but I’m stronger then the person I was before 2008.
I could preach the importance of this all day long, but I don’t think anybody says it better then someone who inspires me in this area and that’s Eric Thomas. Born and raised in Detroit, Michigan, a man who was homeless for two years talks about how our generation is soft.
We’re Accepting - This is not life, life is what we create.
I feel pure disappointment for people who experience a failure and give the excuse that this is just life. This is how it has to be and we all go through it.
Yes I say excuse because life isn’t what happens to you, it’s what you do when life happens.
If you’re unhappy, discourage, or sad, DO something about it. My number one rule in life is if you’re going to complain about something, fine, but at least do something to change it. If you say your going to do something, then do it.
It’s a constant disappointment to you and everyone around you when you get defeated by your own lack of desire.
Breaking down isn’t defeat, it’s not the end of the road unless you let it be.
It’s okay to cry, let it out of your system, get mad, do whatever it takes to be so disappointed with disappointment that you decide you’ve had enough.
That you decide that you rather change it, then to ever feel that defeat again.
It’s important to understand that people know when you’ve accepted. You can say you enjoy what you do and your life as much as you want but defeat and acceptance is written on everyone’s forehead when it happens. You know why? because just like defeat and acceptance can be seen by everyone, so can happiness and success. These things are contagious! Not sure where you stand? It’s pretty simple to figure out. Look around you and see what people you have in your life because we attract what we are.
When you fail to see great people in your life, you’ve failed yourself to be great.
Don’t take into consideration the people that have always been there, like your family and childhood friends, I’m talking about the people you attract now.
Don’t let yourself be one of those people who are accepting in life and wake up just to survive. Be one of those people who wake up to live. Live a life that gives someone else reason to live theirs.
"Greatness is Upon You - So Act Like It"
This is a passionate topic for me and I want people to realize these things. Stop limiting your knowledge, face hardship, and stop accepting life. We need to be the greatness of this generation for the next generation. So I’m going to leave you with one final inspirational video from Eric Thomas. All I can hope is that you see the potential we have in life. That there is ALWAYS someone out their who is counting on you, who looks up to you, and who believes in you.
"Life is a rollercoaster, enjoy the ride"
Everyone has heard that line of inspiration before. Were encourage to ride life’s ups and downs like it’s one big thrill ride. Please inform me who actually likes plummeting downward at insane speeds toward the ground? Before we have the crazies that jump in, let me purpose something. Maybe it’s not the drop that thrills you but those few seconds right after that you realize your alright. I say this because everyone, screaming or not, is terrified until they reach that one point.
So unfortunately, as much as I dislike this saying and rollercoasters, it really is the perfect metaphor for life.
However, it’s not about enjoying the ride but knowing that if you can survive the plummet downward, there is an incredible thrill of accomplishment that you will feel.
Once upon a time there were things called dates. They involved romantic dinners, engaging conversation, and those good old fashion butterflies that make the heart race. Men would have to prove their worthiness with time, money, and emotion. Only after establishing a relationship would there be the opportunity for intimacy.
The thing is, men aren’t stupid. It doesn’t take brains to open a door, give up a seat, or hold a girl’s hand. If men wanted (or needed) to show such gentlemen like services, they would. I even bet there are ton of men out there who really enjoy treating a lady. However, being treated like lady requires acting like a lady.
Chivalrous behavior is no longer the norm, because it’s not longer required. Women would much rather open a door themselves to show their “independence”. Some women are so caught up in a false impression that they may even find such behavior as distasteful and a shot at “getting into their pants”. Some women never see a date because there to quick to jump to the intimacy without even requiring a conversation.
There is no chivalry because we failed to hold onto our expectations, in fact, we seem to have not set any at all these days. The few women who do are wifed and seemed to have snag “the only good guy out there”. Have you ever thought that maybe we attract what we value in ourselves?
If your wondering why men don’t court you with class, your probably guilty of the following:
You Encourage Promiscuity:
It’s great to be sexy but undesirable to be sexual. Lets face it. Not many people, male or female have much respect for women they perceive as easy and sleazy in appearance or in actions. Let intimacy be something that needs to be earned, not something you throw on the table before a first date. Wear clothes that flatter but are sophisticated enough to make a man know he will have to put in some time to pursue you. There isn’t much wooing needed for a girl in her bra for a shirt and a mini skirt without panties.
You Don’t Value Yourself - Or At Least Don’t Show It
Women have been giving so much freedom, independency, and empowerment over the course of history, but we’ve abused it. What happened to the smart, classy, vibrant women society thought they would see in this new era?
Instead we went for crazy party girl who just want’s to have fun and be the life of the crowd. We engage in demeaning society fluff such as 50 Shades of Grey and Miley Cyrus. There is no longer sex symbols, there is just sex. It’s like todays women have lost all self-respect and value and It’s not just for ourselves either, it’s for other women all together.
Men want sophisticated, one of kind, confident women and that’s what every women wants to be. We just have to stop giving in to our desires and end the pursuit of a man. Women just need to work on themselves and the rest is bound to follow.
You Have a Broken Moral Compass
With society and norms changing it’s hard to understand what is considered moral and unmoral these days. I once sat down with a friend who discussed his friend seeing two girls at once. Both girls in fact knew, yet neither one saw it an option to walk away. I found myself screaming inside saying “WHY! Why do we do this to ourselves”. Yes, I do mean ourselves because men only do it because we allow them to.
So before jumping into bed with the next guy, it’s probably time to do a little self-discovery and build yourself a moral code. What you (without the single opinion of anyone else to sway you) find morally acceptable of yourself and others. Maybe it’s a certain amount of dates or an all exclusive package that you need. The thing is, is you do NEED it. It can really crumble your self worth and identity if your making decisions your not sure you want to make. Once you have that moral code. Stay strong to it. It can be hard but it’s a standard your setting to yourself. If your not willing to share your decision with a close friend, chances are it’s morally broken you.
Maybe I’m old fashion but I wish I could of lived in a time where women were brilliantly sophisticated and an odd ball personality like Audrey Hepburn’s was valued and beautiful.
Times have changed and unfortunately it’s up to a bunch of women to bring a dying deed back.
My vision of where I would be at the age of 23 seems to be a little far off of where I actually am. It’s hard to go from traveling the world, having endless opportunities, the comfort of a community to the harsh reality of…..reality.
After accumulating a five-figure debt, I can’t help but feel a little bit stumped at what I actually gained throughout my endless hours of school besides a bachelors degree.
I don’t want the impression to be that I didn’t enjoy my time in college. Those will forever be the glory years, even if it didn’t seem so at the time.
My frustration comes from the fact that I was told that college would prep me for the world and the competitive job market. To some of us, this may be true but personally I feel like I’ve been let down.
With my experience in “real world”, there are several areas of my life that I look at and wonder “Why didn’t anyone warn me?”. So, I’m here to inform you, pre-graduates and post, what you should be preparing yourself for.
Here are some of the life lessons I would teach every college student - and career professional - if I had the chance.
How I felt when I entered the job market
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